


Screw You, I'm Retired

by Jamie_Aizen



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Chaos Ensues, Gen, Lots of OCs - Freeform, Retirement, The Nightmare King has finally retired, might be a pairing, not sure yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 17:18:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15466260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jamie_Aizen/pseuds/Jamie_Aizen
Summary: In which Pitch happily retires after a fabulous ruse, the Moon was in on it, the Guardians are ready to pull their hair out, and Pitch just wants to get in some decent relaxation.(AU: Post-Movie)





	Screw You, I'm Retired

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SumiSprite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SumiSprite/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SUMI!!
> 
> I apologize that this is way late and I only manage to create one chapter but hopefully, I will have some more chapters before the end of this year. Anyway, I saw the prompt for this on one of your wishlist and thought about writing the fic for you. Hopefully, I got all your OCs right *blushes*.

 

“I have to say,” started the short man, “I was worried that you wouldn’t show up.” He moved his white chess piece to a square and turned his golden gaze to his companion.

 

The taller grayish man chuckled as he moved his own piece. “Please, give me some credit here. I knew what exactly your orders were and if your Guardians weren’t so much eager beaver I would have finished the Dark Ages in a quiet manner.” He scoffed. “Most of the worst offenders were gone and the demons were disappearing back into their holes. Now I have to work overtime to fix the balance.”

 

He began rubbing his right shoulder. “Seriously, do you know when was the last time I got to sit down and read a good book?”

The other chuckled. “Really Pitch? That’s all you cared about? A good book?”

The shade stuck his tongue at the one he called his friend. “Just because you have never picked up the habit, little Tsar…”

 

The Man in the Moon laughed as he moved his pawn onto a black square. “Please, I love observing and tinkering things just like you. I can’t help you’re such a bibliophile…”

Pitch gave a loud laugh as he slapped his hand on the table. The Tsar joined in and both continued onto their game.

  


It stayed silent for the most of the game, both opponents focusing on their moves and each other’s skill.

Pitch moved the bishop before he began to speak.

 

“I want to retire.”

 

The only telltale sign that the Tsar heard the words was the sudden stillness of his hand before moving to his Queen.

“Oh?”

 

“Yes,” Pitch replied. “I’ve been at this since the dawn of time. And don’t get me wrong, I loved becoming the Fear King. Spreading nightmares and making sure humanity doesn’t suddenly die off from stupidity.”

“But-”

“But I'm tired, my old friend. The younger spirits are pushing us old timers out of the way, saying that Fear isn’t needed. It an unappreciative job along with sadness and death.” Pitch shrugged. “And I hate to say this, but your Guardians don’t help. Ever since my defeat, those fools have been… what’s the word I want to use?”  


Manny moved another piece on across the board, taking one of Pitch's pawns.

“Taking everything for granted?”

 

“That’s a phrase Manny but yes that is the gist of it. I mean really? Guardians of Childhood and yet it's been centuries since they have interacted with children. I mean Sandman does, yes, but only when the child is asleep.”

The Tsar slumped back as he stared into his chess piece on the board. “You know I don’t want to command them. They should make their own decisions-”

“Please,” Pitch interrupted. “When you have a group like that influencing the lives of future adults, instructions are needed. You could have easily led them, even if you weren’t full time.” He pointed at one Manny’s pawns on the board. “Nicholas St. North, a fearless man and an adventurer. You couldn’t stop the Bandit King from exploring every place that had a name. Now he only comes out once a year and spends his time inside crafting toys and eating cookies.”  


He leaned over the board. “He got fat and lazy Manny. And his workshop is more of a factory with all those elves and yetis. I mean do they even get time off?”

The Tsar rolled his eyes.as he listen to Pitch rant about Bunny (“I swear, he only comes out of that burrow of his to argue with North about whose holiday is the best!”) and then the famous Tooth Fairy (“I see more of her mini fairies then the blasted woman herself! And gods help if a spirit visits her- she sticks her fingers into other’s mouths!!)).

“And don’t even get me started on your Sandman-”

“Alright already,” the Tsar yelled. He huffed and folded his arms. “Maybe I should have involved myself in my work,” he said with a pout. “But Pitch, I’m the last person to give such advice when I’m almost like them in terms of interactions.”

The Nightmare King waved his hand with the roll of his eyes. “You are still in charge,” he said. “Maybe don’t force yourself though. Be manipulative.”

“Basically be like you?”

Pitch wiggled his non-existent eyebrows. “Is that so bad?”

The Tsar sputtered. “Please,” he said with a chuckle.

Pitch joined in as he moved another piece. “Actually, you might not have to do anything.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. I have heard through the grapevine that there is a new spirit- one of your making? All funtime and snow?”

The Tsar gave a small laugh. “Ah, Jack Frost. Brave child on the cusp of boyhood and adulthood.”

“....Did you just made that up on the spot?”

“Maybe… Anyway, he I have plans for. He was supposed to be the newest Guardian once he was introduced to them. However-”

“However, your Guardians so stuck in their ways haven’t extended a Welcome Party to Frost?”

The Tsar sighed. “More or less,” he said. “My hopes were that they would begin to interact with other spirits, invite into the fold. Even if they are not Guardians, they could create allies.”

Pitch reached over and patted the shorter man’s shoulder. “Things like that take time, Manfred. Give yourself patience.”

The Tsar closed his eyes with a nod. “I just wished it was easier. I can hear other spirits you know,” he explained as he moved another piece. “To them, the Guardians are stuck up do-gooders who can’t and won’t play nice with others. This reflects badly on me and my decision making.”

Pitch nodded. “And you want the Frost boy to where the same stigma?”

“No,” Manny said shaking his head. “I know if Jack joins them, things can change- for the better. I want them to be more open- not only with children but with other spirits. You have a better track record with keeping the peace with others and you’re you-”

“Watch it, Manny…”

“Sorry,” the Tsar apologized quickly, ducking his head. “It's just frustrating. And I can’t make them seek out Jack;not with others questioning why him and not themselves.”

Pitch nodded as he watches his friend stress over his dilemma.

“I have no excuse to get them to them to connect and I can tell Bunny does not like him because he’s a Spirit of Spring and Jack is a child of Winter and they both will clash and it doesn’t help that poor Jack has tried to sneak into North’s workshop and he’s on Nicholas’ naughty list and-”

“Unless they have a common enemy,” Pitch interrupted, fingers cupping his chin.

“Er...what?”

“Tell me, how well is Jack with children?”

Manny looked confused but decided to humor his friend. “Er, he’s almost like a big brother, I suppose. Even though they cannot see him, Jack enjoys playing with them and making sure they are well entertained.”

Pitch nodded. “What if, something is threatening the children,” Pitch explained. “The Guardians, of course, would deal with the threat but you send in help; Jack Frost.”

“Pitch, while that sounds good in your head, I doubt there is anyone willing to play the villain. And I will not search for an actual one that is willing to do extremely hard just to get the group to work together.”

“Then let me.”

Manny blinked for a moment before he let out a small chuckle. “Excuse me?”

“Think about it: who is the one person they will band against because they deem him a bigger threat than anyone else? Pitch Black!” The Nightmare King had excitement on his face.

“They’ll be shocked to see I’m alive and ready to attack them. And then you appear announcing that you want Jack Frost as a Guardian. They will have to accept his help since they remember how tough it was to defeat me!”

Manny frowned. “But Pitch, by yourself? I mean I understand where you are going with this but you would need help to pull off a takeover this big.”

The Boogeyman’s face turned sheepish. “Yes…. I, fortunately, will not be alone,” he said slowly.

Manny raised an eyebrow. “Pitch what did you do? You’re not getting Samhain involved are you?!”

Pitch rolled his eyes. “No,” he said. “Please, like a few times we did something crazy and now you think Samhain is bad news.”

“You two were responsible for some of those ‘crazy events’ that happened in Europe and North America.”

“No one got hurt,” Pitch said as he folded his arms. “But no, Samhain will not help me with this.” He pulled his right hand out and focus on the palm. Black sand seems to seep from nowhere and form a dark butterfly. At first, it was still but then it began to flap its wings and lifted of Pitch’s hand. It fluttered around the room before finally landing on the Tsar’s outstretched finger.

“Pitch….”

Said spirit rubbed the back of his head. Although delighted of his creation, he was not proud of the method in gaining such talent.

“It was about two weeks ago. I was spreading nightmares around and unfortunately, Sanderson was in the area. I had to hide and I was hoping that he would pass by. He did but not without sending some of his dreamsand to the children I was preparing to frighten. One of the little sprites tried to touch me and I swatted it away.”

Seeing the shock look on Manny’s face, he sighed. “I swat the dreamsand sprites, not the children.”

“Oh thank the Light…”

Pitch snorted and continued his story. “Anyway, as slapped the sand with both my hands, it changed into a black sand horse. It was a bit wild but….” He shrugged. “Of course in my eagerness to test this, I continued touching more sprites and changing. Needless to say, I got carried away and the child woke up to see me jumping around like a madman.”

Manny blinked. “Did you already make more?”

“No,” Pitch said with a shake of his head. “I may be an unpleasant man, but there are some things I draw the line at. Stealing is one of them.”

Releasing a sigh, Manny looked at Pitch. “I did not mean to accuse you,” he said. “I was just worried.” He cupped his chin. “So are you asking permission to...borrow some of Sandy’s sand?”

“.....maybe?”

Manny sighed. “Pitch…”

“Come now, Manny, I’m trying to help you. It's going seem suspicious if I attack the Guardians by myself. Especiallywith Sanderson. They’ll either think I’m suicidal or I’m up to something else.”

“But you are.”

Pitch snorted.

Manny huffed. “Alright then. But they need to be controlled and they cannot really harm anyone. I mean it.”

Pitch nodded. “You have my word. Besides, I’m not going to do this anytime soon. I need a long period of practice,” he explained.

Manny nodded, understanding; although deep down he was giddy.

They continued discussing the plan Pitch concocted. Soon their game finished (with no apparent winners as both were too into their ideas).

The Nightmare King stood up and stretched, while Manny cupped his chin and smiled.

“What will you do after your ‘defeat’ Pitch? Will you spend the rest of your existence finally catching that cat nap that has eluded you for so long?”

Pitch smirked. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“My offer still stands, Pitch,” Manny said. “I think you would love living at the Lunar palace.”

His friend offers the smaller man a smile. He knew Manny was a loner but appreciated companionship from time to time.

“If I go up there, it would only be for your library,” the shade said.

Manny laughed and began to shoo Pitch away. “Go,” he snorted. “Don’t you have planning to do?”

Pitch laughed before he enters into the shadows disappearing.

 

**~**

**_3 Days After the Easter Battle_ **

**~**

 

It was the dead of night as two individuals walked towards the entrance of the cave. They were surprised it was open but took it as a good sign that their companion was alive and uninjured from his earlier bout.

“Now Halister, I know this is your first time meeting Pitch Black, but please try to remember yourself. You do not have to try as hard to impress him.”

The other figure bowed his head as a blush covered his pale face and his gloved hand gripped his hat to pull over his expression. “I’m sorry Master Samhain. It’s just that…. It’s Pitch Black, sir! The spirit that helped beings like you and I find our place in this world!!”

Samhain chuckled as he pushes his ex-apprentice now friend’s hat back up. “True but he is a simple person. And although he would be flattered with the star-struck expression, I think it would weird our friend out a bit…”

“Oh no, that is all you Sam,” came a voice behind them.

The men froze and turned around.

Pitch Black was leaning against the cave wall, arms folded across his chest and a smirk on his face. Next to his feet were 2 brown leather suitcases and a black fedora on top of it.

“Good morning Sam. It’s been a while,” the Nightmare greeted his old friend. He then turned his head to the younger spirit next to Samhain. “And a good morning to you...Mister?”

Samhain’s apprentice had a star-struck look on his face as he tried to open his mouth. It took an elbow in the side to get Hal’s attention.

“Uh..I’m Halister, but you can call me Hal,” he managed to stammer out. “It is an honor to meet you sir!” He held out his gloved hand, his face blushing red.

Pitch grasp the younger spirit’s hand. “No the pleasure is mine,” he replied as he shook the other’s hand. Hal couldn’t help it, he squealed.

The Nightmare King couldn’t help it, he chuckled. “You really know how to pick them,” he teased at his friend as pulled his hand away from the other. “But considering Halloween is very popular with the children and a favorite holiday, I consider that this young man knows exactly what he’s doing.”

Hal couldn’t help it, he squealed for a second before he manages to regain his composure- somewhat.

“Apologies Mr-er- Nightmare King Black for my outburst. I’m just...it is an honor to meet you, sir,” Hal repeated.

Pitch chuckled, which relaxed the homunculus and caused him to laugh. Samhain cleared his throat, gaining the other spirit’s attention. “As much I like standing around, I’m sure Pitch would like to leave this place and head to his new home,” he commented.

“Oh, right,” Hal answered quickly as he rushed over and grabbed the two suitcases. Samhain chuckled at his enthusiastic former pupil as he watch him rush out to the carriage.

“Soooo,” started Pitch’s old friend, “how are you feeling? Finally retiring?”

The Nightmare King took a deep breath, a smile spreading across his face. “Would you believe that I’m a bit terrified?”

“No,” Samhain replied, acting shock. “The fame King of Fear afraid?”

Pitch snorted and made a swipe at the red hair man, both laughing as longtime friends. The Nightmare King sighed as leaned against the wall.

“I’m worried because after so long protecting mankind and having to battle the Guardians, I don’t know if I can let go,” Pitch explained. “Will I be able to step aside and allow others to continue? Can I actually relax for once without worrying that the Guardians will drop out of nowhere and assume I’m doing something evil?”

He folded his arms and looked away, a miserable expression on his face. Samhain walked over to them all and stood by the man who was his brother in all but blood. Even though Pitch couldn’t see it, the red-headed man offered the shade a smile.

“You know for the first few days when I gave the controls to Halister, I was at peace for a while. I slept in, visited with some old friends and enjoyed myself.” He folded his arms as he stared out into the darkness, not noticing Pitch looking at him. “It was… Day 12 when I finally broke down from and decided that retirement was a mistake; that I had left Hal with a difficult task and that I had set him up for failure.”

Samhain finally noticed Pitch staring at him and shrugged. “Don’t get me wrong; retirement is actually enjoyable and there is much to do at the establishment. Despite not many spirits being fans of humans, they do create interesting devices and activities; and the Proprietor is very good about providing these activities for the patrons.”

Samhain laid his left hand on Pitch’s shoulder. “What I’m saying is, it's okay to feel this way. It is normal. I am ashamed to say that I finally broke and I spent almost half a year away from the establishment checking up on Hal. I could have kicked myself for that though, as he was doing great- better even. Sure he made some mistakes but nothing too horrific and he knew to keep going.”

Pitch blinked at his friend as this wasn’t one of the things he didn’t know about. “So you don’t do it anymore?”

“Well, I got caught by Halister during one of my trysts,” Samhain explained, looking every bit of embarrassed. “Took a long time to explain to him that I did not think he was incompetent. Luckily Hal is...patient and understanding to those he cares about. He understood why I was checking up on him and now he visits to ask my opinion and ideas.” He gave a smile. “While I’m not active in the community, I do pay visits and tell stories about my time.”

Samhain looked at Pitch. “What I’m saying is that it's okay to feel like this.” He stood before his friend and cupped Pitch’s cheeks. “There is going to be moments when you feel like this is all wrong and want to return to your duties. No one will fault you for that. You just need to remember that we’re with us now- a community that you can fall back on.” He took a deep breath as he continued. “Your name carries so much weight there; both dark and light creatures look to you as one of the eldest and yet important spirits in our world. Most of us could not have existed if it wasn’t for you.”

The Nightmare King blushed, appreciating the skin to skin contact. While he did indeed remain aloof, he didn’t mindhis close friend with touches. Pitch knew Sam would never harm him with ill intent. Sure he sometimes deserved a smack on his head but Pitch was mature enough to admit he needed it sometimes.

“Flattery will get you everywhere Sam,” Pitch teased back as he touched his friend’s face in appreciation. “And I understand…”

He pulled away and sighed. “Retiring, stepping away from it all- I need this,” Pitch replied. “I want this. I’ve been involved for too long, trying to keep the balance from shifting too much when in reality I should have stepped aside and allowed new beings to take over.”

Sam snorted. “Pitch, I love you but you’re not one for allowing others to be involved in your handiwork.”

Pitch chuckled. “Well, no one knows how to do it right,” he muttered.

His friend laughed and gave Pitch a pat on the back. “The micromanaging Nightmare King…”

Said spirit gave more chuckles as he rolled his eyes at Sam. Both finally reign a hold on their playfulness when they heard the sounds of footsteps returning towards them.

Hal had returned, with a huge smile on his face.

“I manage to place the pieces of luggage in the carriage,” he explained. He had his straw tied broom in his hand as he turned towards his former Master. “Apologies but I must leave soon. Duties are calling and I only have a few months left to prepare for Halloween.”

“Ah,” began Sam, “it's almost that time already?” The tall spirit was grinning at his former apprentice as he waved his hand. “I won’t keep you then but please don’t forget to visit.”

Hal beams before turning to Pitch. “Uh… Mr. Black- I mean Lord Black- I mean-” A huge red blush was across his face as he floundered around one of his idols.

Pitch gave a small chuckle, waving his hand. “You can just call me Pitch,” he explained. It was….nice to meet someone who looked at him in awe instead of fear and hate. He appreciated his friend even more now.

“Then you can call me Hal then,” the homunculus replied as he tugged his hat a bit. He finally straighten up, trying to show that he was every bit of a leader that he was of his craft, “What I wanted to say- uh ask- is that I have many spirits, children, that have heard and look up to you and I was wondering if they could meet you?’

Pitch blinked at the request, curious. It wasn’t that he dislike children. He actually cared for the little monsters but to have them actually want to interact with them. Very few would interact with him when he can to their rooms to give them nightmares and those were the ones that had to quickly grow up in the harsh environments to survive. While they took his teachings to heart, they forgot about him. Believing that he was just a dream or their subconscious just warning them.

It did hurt but quickly Pitch realizes that this was the norm and he had to learn to put such emotions behind if he wanted to continue his work and survive.

The Nightmare King smiled at Hal. “I would be an honor to meet the inhabitants under your care,” he replied as he stretched out his hand towards Hal.

The homunculus’ face brightens and instead, he rushed and enveloped Pitch’s lower half in a tight hug. The Nightmare King’s face turned red as he looked over at his gloating friend.

‘Ass’ he thought with a mocking frown as he patted Hal’s back. The younger spirit pulled away as Pitch gave him a smile. “Thank you for allowing me this opportunity to meet them.”

Halister shook his head. “No no! Thank you for allowing us to meet with you,” he answers quickly. “A lot of spirits- especially the younger ones- have always wanted to meet you. But they understood that you were busy and that maybe it wasn’t a good idea to harass you. We always planned on introducing ourselves to you but-”

Pitch held up his hand. “I understand and I thank you for your thoughts.” Usually, people didn’t want to meet him because of his temperament or because he was frightened but for Hal and the spirits under his ruling, the fact they thought they would be bothering him while he was working….

It was touching, to say the least.

Sam cleared his throat and Hal leap remembering that he had prior engagements at that moment.

“I promise to come by and visit the establishment when I’m not too busy,” Hal vowed as he began to head out of the cavern.”It was great meeting you Mr. Black- I mean Pitch!!”

Embarrassed, Hal manages to sit on the broom and flew away from the two elder spirits.

“Say what you want about him, he’s very enthusiastic,” Pitch commented.

Sam chuckled as he walked over and wrap his arm around his friend’s shoulder. “There is a reason why I chose him to take my place.” Taking a deep breath, Samhain looked at Pitch.

“So are you ready to go?”

Pitch blinked and turned his head to look behind him. While the cavern was gloomy and sometimes cold, it had been his home for centuries. He established his globe here when he became the fame Nightmare King. The first he sat down with a well written book was down 2 levels to the spot he converted into his library. The area designated as his kitchen when he wanted tea or practice creating the food he would watch the mortals consume.

He closed his eyes as he also thought about the trials he went through and the tales the stone walls would tell. About his triumphs and his defeats.

It was time.

He needed to step away and rest.

Pitch nodded. “Yes,” he finally said. “Yes I think I am finally ready to leave.”

Sam guided his friend, his brother towards the carriage and away from the empty caverns.

It was time to go home.

  


-End Chapter One-

  
  
  
  
  



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